“Do something every day that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain…Duties are not performed for duty’s sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty–the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.”~ Mark Twain

A friend of mine sent out the Mark Twain quote a while ago. It triggered a hot button for me because there are certain things that I have a habit of avoiding. Do you avoid certain things too?  I really do not like filing papers and going through things that should never be on my desk or in my office in the first place. But they are.

There was a time when I would have argued with my own position. But one of the benefits of going around the block a few times is that you can remember the consequences of some of the roads that you have taken and the choices that you have made.  I can now see the benefit in doing some of the tough things and the very things that I don’t want to do.  I have paid the price, more than once in my life, because I have avoided some of the “should do’s” in my life. It has cost me time, money, friends, a marriage, and has influenced my self-worth many times through out my life.  If it was someone else, I would ask why didn’t you …  just do it?

Well I know my excuse has been that old habits are often very hard to break.  It is a worn out excuse I know.  That is why being rigorously honest with myself forces me to see what my unconscious wants to hide away from my deliberately conscious inquiry and see what I am doing with these thoughts, attitudes and feelings.  It is so important to me that I tackle my inner resistance because without that I won’t go beyond my current level of tolerance of my own blind spots.  Breath Barbara… re-read what you just wrote and take that all the way in without distracting yourself.   Just Breath!

It seems obvious on one hand and on the other, I am observing myself being resistant and that honestly bugs me that I have chosen to continue being stubborn about some thing that I feel like “I ought to be able to handle this easily,” and move on rather than making myself go through these hoops mentally and emotionally, not to mention the waste of energy it causes.

How do you handle your own resistance to changing what no longer works for you.  In my case it is just paper work and I over-whelm myself with it over and over again.   What is it for you?   Perhaps together we can find new ways or tools to use that will help us go beyond our blind spots.

Know that you are loved!

Blessings,  Rev. Barb