Why was I in the midst of these many waves of opposites? Is this just another view of what has been there all along? Was something deeper within me working too hard to find relevance? Was my higher self or something deeper within me revealing patterns to help me go deeper into truth? Am I opening up a place in my heart that is compassionate for myself and others. Has seeking the truth set me up to take another closer look at my mental frameworks and current understanding?
I wanted to pull the plug on thoughts of doubt and beliefs that weakened my trust at the very point when I was taking a spiritual leap of faith. I’d make progress doing my inner work, daily spiritual practice and then something within me seems to break down and cause a default pattern to divert my focus and devotion and impacts my development.
What unconscious beliefs, what unhealed and powerfully hidden part of me was getting in the way? What was driving these patterns and how could I use what I know in my heart of hearts to move beyond these issues and rise in consciousness and spiritual freedom. I want to liberate the part of me that seems to be caught up in a web of invisible triggers that re-launch feelings that invade my joy and transformation.
Tim McAfee from Agape wrote an awesome song that I remember in moments that I need to surrender. It’s called “I surrender”. He sings: “I surrender – I surrender – everything that I’ve been holding on to – I let go. I forgive me. I forgive me. I’m ready for my change.” It brings me to tears because I’ve felt just like that. Tim wrote that after being inspired by one of Dr. Michael Beckwith’s Sunday services. Truth frees up our creativity and ignites the passion to share it from the powerful presence of oneness.
Know that you are Loving, Loveable and Loved! Rev. Barb