Living in California, where I was born and raised after so many years in Ohio feels so good for my soul. I love living in spiritual community and sharing the processes that we naturally go through as we go deeper into our practices of truth. It always prompts us to face the reflection in the lake of the collective spirit.
Being in nature helps me realize what is true within me. I see life all around me. Being able to look up and see the stars at night sooths my soul. Where I live is a very vibrant and changeable environment. We see the best and the worst in one another. If we can remember it is all a part of a greater process, we can enjoy the process so much more. It is just a few months short of a year now. Living in the midst of nature heals me in so many ways. It is great for my spirit and yet it has been very challenging to find work until recently. One has to learn to live wisely.
One of my life long learning opportunities involves mastering my feelings and emotions around living wisely, frugally and making good decisions. Even though others often see me as confident, I have struggled with my self esteem, my attitudes, thoughts and emotions. If you have been working on your own growth, you know that there is definitely a learning curve in mastering them. I have had to become a rigorous and dedicated observer of my own thoughts and how they trigger emotional waves, the ups and downs that have shaped the way I have lived and responded to my life. I have let others opinions of me drive my life. I am not willing to be hold myself hostage to this kind of thinking any longer, yet feelings can be tough to release completely.
So I will likely have things pop up for me in the days ahead. And I will feel the challenge of centering myself in my truth one more time. I may need a little time out to restore myself to the truth and release the imprint of at least one lifetime of feeling less than, or not enough, and rise above the appearances and habits that leave us feeling vulnerable in the midst of change. The good news is I am getting more courageous as the days go by. The struggles are less intense and my spiritual practices help me remember that who I am has nothing to do with outer things, material things, other people opinions of me, my career, the ways I am treated by others, if I am married or not, if I have a nice home or live in a simple dwelling. Those are all choices, focus’ and beliefs and have nothing to do with who I am and my value as a human being. They do not make me who I am. Who I am was created by God and no one and no thing can change that